It wasn’t always like this. Fifteen years ago, my cousin’s wedding had class, a delightful environment, with mostly sober people, and food wasn’t everything and alcohol was rarely presented in the wedding reception.
today, a wedding without whiskey is considered a tasteless gimmick from twisted minds
A Nepali wedding in Kathmandu, with it’s diversity in both culture and social aspect, has developed few of the most anarchic ritual that is fun to think about. I present some of my points here
- It’s not necessary to invite all the Facebook (read – social) friends to a wedding. Marriage is sacred, and invitation should go to only few important delegates. Any number more than 200 is either a rock concert or a football match. You don’t have to call all your junior high, high school, university friends, and all your work colleagues. There are friends and there are good friends. Call the latter. Make a fixed list of the invitee.
- Party Palace/s is not a religious code. Small wedding in a temple is still important and culturally relevant. One does not have to give into a place that has 70% profit margin, with major hygiene crisis. Don’t bow down.
- Wedding reception should be all day event, not a four hour race in the evening. Those who don’t get to come, should not come. A bride and groom should not wait for an all too busy third cousin uncle, because he is at a meeting till seven, has to get home, pick his wife and drive to the wedding. Plan a day reception, not an evening or night reception.
- RSVP on a wedding invitation is not a gimmick. Confirm it. No one in Kathmandu (as I know) really cares about RSVP, but almost all the invitation card has one. Don’t start/copy something that you can’t take care of.
- Why should a wedding reception have chair to table ratio of 20:1. Keep the effin tables, does anyone realize how hard is it to eat food in your lap, constantly switching between a spoon and a fork, with a glass of water (choices may vary between Pepsi/wine/whiskey) near your leg, and a small paper napkin somewhere near by.
- How come majority of the guest don’t know where to keep the dishes after there done with the food? Why do we shove it off under our chair, always, waiting for that dirty ragged old cleaning lady/gentleman to come pick it up? How come no one realizes that, this lady/gentleman has a huge problem with personal hygiene, and the worst possible clothing in the whole ceremony, and is the only person not looked upon with judgmental eye for not wearing something clean, on a weeding ceremony?
- Why are the chairs kept in a long line? Why doesn’t the organizing committee realize that this is not a movie theatre, or a class room, and people need to converse by looking at each other.
- Why is there so much of hard liquor? and why do mom/aunt don’t drink until something is put in there hand? A pleasant glass of wine is something I look forward to, but in a Nepali wedding in Kathmandu, if there is no whiskey, the weeding rating falls down. I don’t get it, and my mother says it to be a fact not fiction.
- Almost all wedding have a certain fix food menu. Decorated Rice, flamboyant chapatti, some lentils, a fried veggie with or without the green leafs, two types of chatni, and two to three meat items. Ice-cream, yogurt and/or one sweet cake (mithai). Can’t we have something different? Apparently not, this is the pseudo culture that we have developed in the last two decade and it only changes slowly (as per my mother and father)
- Music – the horror of Bollywood and Hollywood. Where is the class? Why do everyone have to listen to the noise pollution from few great Hindi lyrics (Hollywood or Justin B is rare in right now). The conversation becomes abysmal on these high decibels, and yet, somehow, people love it. I simply don’t get this. Where is the classical music? The vibrant cultural Nepali music, that I was invited into, fifteen years ago?
Can’t remember all my complains right now, but there are few more. Will update on it, as memory jogs up. I know, I will end up repeating few of the above complains myself, but will try to change/upgrade on some that I see fit. Wedding receptions in Kathmandu has become an ugly art of western and eastern mixture that lacks tradition, culture and ethnicity. There is a bare minimum presence of creativity and differentiation, and ideological value. Theme based wedding is something I look forward to, but I know its a distance dream.
Few of my friends got married this past year, and the invitation to wedding reception was more like a school reunion. Few didn’t make it, but most were present, and it was fun to meet the gang. The bride and the groom were still the center of attention, but it was great to meet friends.
P.S. – I marry soon, and may be its the wedding season that’s affecting me, all the complains don’t seem really that important right now. There are bigger problems to handle. How do I loose my huge belly fat?
- Wedding Etiquette: Reception Invitations & Late Receptions (crane.com)
- Personalized wedding favors will add a touch of class to your ceremony (personalcreations.com)
- It’s a Nice Day for a Dry Wedding (weddingbee.com)